ThE OnE AND OnLY

Today is sunday 31st December, NYE is just around the corner. But still, I dont have plan for the NYE, mayb i just stay at home watching live telecast of fireworks showcase from sydney …Boring…..hehehhee…well that is me current life atm, or ill go to friends’ place. I just dont know, these days im just too lazy to do anything, blame it on the summer holiday, nah….im living an unproductive life, LAZY is the word here..yeah u can call me lazy ass…hehehe…im lack of motivation, lack of stamina, lack of everything positive. Every morning, i wake up around 8 am , but i only manage to really do things after 9am. Buat aper????….guring2 atas katil…fikir2…pemalaZZZZZ…..hehehehhehe….9am Mulakan routine harian dgn on laptop, login yahoo, MSN, Uni then read the latest news gossips and watsoever, then blogging…hehehe…im mati kutu la kalau takder semua tu, mayb i need human interaction or contact kot, therers no one in the house ‘Home Alone", nak kluar???……Hmm…….i think thats the main reason why me friend Farez ask me to go out to Byron Bay(BB) and Gold Coast (GC) yesterday. I have the notion that he sees me as this living zombie; lifeless and with no expression. Hehehe….i think i see meself like that….Luckily i dont scared ppl :P. Yes, its true along the trip i talk less (almost nothing i guess hehehe…and i sat next to the driver…poor him, no communication with "co-pilot". Sorry just not in the communication mode. Zombie mode remm. hehehe… Sigh*. But i had a great fun at those two places, thanks guys. hahahaha….naper aku gelak out of sudden…when we were in GC, i almost drowned, yup, LEMAS, me first experience…heheheh…tu la nak jadi zombie…LOL..actually, Farez n me tried these body boards and imagine we can tame the wave..hahahaha…So as i were using the body board i didnt realize the wave was pushing me far from the beach. I just knew that when my feet cant touch the ground, i started panicked. Although im not a good swimmer like Ian Thorpe, i definelty can swim, but not in rough wave like this, farez was too far away, out of reach. Luckily there was a surfer nearby. Malu……………..nak minta tolong…hahahah…u know wat i said to the surfer. "can u help me, my leg is cramped" hahahahahaha…..Thats was the first thing that pop up from me lips…hahaha…brilliant tak. Then the surfer asked me whether im ok or not…wat kind of question is that????…..retarded ker apa…nak lemas, tak kan ok kot….But, thank god he was there, heheheh….kalau tak, tak balik malaysia la aku….balik kot tapi tapi duk kat bahagian kargo (hehehe figure it out la). When i reached the seashore , farez said "tu la aku tak nak gi jauh2" hehehehe….aku nie degil sikit….byk kot…That was me first experience nak lemas..erkk…. belum lemas lagi yek…hehehehe….Ada la memory bekalan nak bawa balik, hehehe… stroy kat family n kekawan….Kat BB pulak, hmmm…mengelamun…have u ever experience all ur memories just keep on flashing back just like a dics stuck in a CD player, keep on repeating itself. Yeah, that was wat happened there, so tak byk cerita, just enjoying the scenery with the everlasting memories flashback as the background, sedeh kan….:P. Ok enough of that, change topic….berjela la entry aku kali ni, takper, i have plenty of time. Other then goin to BB and GC, what we did previously was just going out, hanging out, house hopping/crashing etc to occupy our less than a week period here in brisbane. Well hes not leaving for good, iam though…..hah….dont have to think to much. Lately, I just notice that too much thinkin for me is not good, mayb in term of academic is good (theres me secrect success goes :D), but when it comes to thinking abt life, im hopeless hehehe…yeah hopeless…Even worse me hair is falling faster than before, damNNN….me hair is receeding. Am i getting bald…am i..am i???? Arghh……this is all because of the stress and TOO MUCH THINKIN….Actually it is in the blood, hereditary i mght say…but stress can be one of the catalyst of hair loss…hehehe wanna comfort meself. I read some of the article abt hair loss, and found that trauma is one of the main cause of hair loss other than stress and hereditary. Solution! only two things in the world can prevent or reduce hair loss (this is wat the ppl in the medical world claimed); Finasteride is a pill taken orally and Minoxidil is a clear solution applied topically onto the scalp. One also can expect the posibilty of hair regrowth (yeker..hmmm). Eventhough with the clinical evidence im still sceptical, but why not, tak salah cubakan hehe.., so thats me first NY 2007 resolution: getting me hair back! hahahaha….is that so important hehehe… i dunno. like i said before i just do it, not say it…hehehehe. A ahh….me old college friend, megat just signed into MSN, lama tak jmpa dia nie. So Chatting with him while updating this blog. Hmm..bila chat dgn member lama ni, im thinkin of doing entriES abt me college life. yes not singular but plural, theres alot of stuff to write abt. It was a meanigful life experienced if i can recalled, really interesting…which i have learnt alot from , well i admit not all experiences are joyfull, some are sedeh……Well thats life, suker duker kehidupan,..Hmm..mayb, ill make it as me second NY resolution..hehehe..penting ker..ntah…I think im tired, tired of typing…masa buat thesis dulu tak plak serajin nie…hahahhaa….well i must confess atm im into blogging (me new hobby :P); reading other ppl and doing mine at the same time, occupy me time with beneficial things is the agenda here, plus i can share life experience with them, the bloggers. Kat dungun confirm byk masa terluang or terbuang hehehehe….Most of the blogs i read said  blogging is a channel of self expression a way of speaking their minds of, hopefully bukan syok sendiri la hehehe…i think i better stop now, Hmm…thats the main reason i should have proper title for every entry supaya tak terbabas dari tajuk  hehehhhe…as usual, i havent take a shower and i havent eat, im getting thinner and BALD argh……….hate it…So cont later..HAPPY NEW YEAR 07 & SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI to all me muslim friends,  c ya next yr in malaysia, hopefully not dungun….;)

Live is not lived without knowing separation
It manifests because of desire
Or sometimes from desperation
But most of the time it is due to fate

It is one of those life’s painfull sorrows
There is nothing as heart wrenching
As to know separation will fill out tommorows
Or the agony of communion never again

We are together only for a time
Connecting is fleeting
We say, "you are mine"
But all too soon our time of togetherness is gone

To survive separation of loved ones-
We must have no regrets,
Because when the ineffable comes
Guilt free memories are our only salvation

Hehehhe…..since when i like this blog so much hah…..siang mlm blogging jer….hahahahah…ntahla labu…hehehe…hmm…on the previous blog, lupa plak nak wish Xmas kat kekawan n sanak sedara (tul ker spelling nie hah). hehehe..to all the non malay speaking human, sorry this entry meant to be rojak k or bilingual..hhehee. Hmm…ok.. kali ni punyer entry mcm dendang perantau sikit la…HMm.. saya Anderson Ng dari UQ brisbane ingin mengucapkan salam Xmas n Happy New Yr to me following friends, relatives and family kat memaner jer merekaorg berada. hehehe  (nampak sgt tak pass BM nie), especially Vernon, Jess, Kins, Bridgette, Nic, James, Andrian, Carol, Carol DD, priss, Me beloved granmas n granpas kat kampung tu (diaorang baca  ker blog aku nie hehehe), family at home, me dad, mum, sis n bro, hopefully makan roasted turkey tu ingat2 aku kat sini (so far mana la family aku pernah mkn roasted turkey hahahaha..), tak lupa sedara mara,  cousin mousin yg aku rindui semua, saper lagi yek….hmm berjela la plak ucapan aku ni, mengalahkan Oscar winner punyer ucapan muahahahaha….Ok la, sorry kalau nama takder dlm list nie… yg lain blh la check reramai nama kat utusan malaysia page hmm…23 ker salam perantau…hehehe…memandai jer aku nie…ada ker salam perantau xmas..nan ado…So…..MERRY XMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR…!

Yesterday was friday the 22th of December, me last day of work before the long xmas holiday. 3 days to xmas, i havent called me friends, relatives and family to wish them Merry Xmas and Happy New Year…why not…Hmm..planning to call them on the Xmas eve, so terasa la kesedihan pagi raya tu kan hehehehe… ooopss pagi xmas. After three hours of working, i received a phone called from a friend to remind me to meet at MYER at 9pm (one of the shoppin malls here).. Its 845 pm, I just cant wait ..Everytime, when i walk back from me workplace to the city i will pass this huge xmas tree that has been there for quite sometimes.  The lights from the xmas tree were bright and glittering, and… suddenly i got an idea!…wat idea???..not now..hehe..tell u guys later. When i arrived in the city, it was bustling with ppl, especially the Queen street area. Everyone was busy looking for bargain, a  hectic scene…me shoppin…nah..just helping a friend of mine looking for suitable presents for his family back in Malaysia. Its funny when ppl back home expect goods such clothes and bags are made here in Australia, but no, most of them are made from China, which are more cheaper if u buy them in Malaysia. So, my friend and I have a daunting task of looking for a hand bag made in Australia for his mum and a top dress for his sister. Finally, after all the "ronda2", pre selection, price comparison and so forth, he knew wat to buy i guess, but….survey first is the rule here…..so we didnt bought them, just wanna know the price. Damn, the time nearly 10pm, we have a dinner invitation to attend to…dinner at 10pm! (giler ker aper)…yeah, thats wat happen when your work finish at 9pm, all nght activities started from that time onwards including dinner…but not for long…hehehe..planning to quit job after xmas holiday..(dah byk duit ker)…(tak la nak packing balik)..giler ker ckp sorang2 hehehe…Hmm…i will miss me work (ye ker..), vacuuming the carpet while listening to me Ipod (ni part yg aku betul2 miss nie :p), thinking abt everything until me work finish. yeah… its true everytime i do me work, me mind is somewhere else…Have u ever feel the same???…i mean when u r doin ur work something else pop up or wondering in ur mind…mayb the work is boring erkk… hehehe…dunno…but work for the money ma…wat to do..Back to me story…hmm..where was I, yeah we went for a dinner then went back home at 1am….wait2…Aik, me friend SMS me, gosh time is runnin out, have to take shower……hehehhe…wish i can write more, sorry to let u guys down, but i have to go out…already made appoinment wit some friends, dont wanna be late, these days, everytime must always be on time…Yeah, u are right we are still looking for the right hand bag at the right price. Somehow or rather i feel something is not rght wit this entry…Wat hah… its totaly out of title la…LOL….Ciaow…

Its 1243pm brissie time, just had me brunch…wanna know…a slice of bread with butter and  me fav. condensed milk hehehehe…no..im not on diet, i realized that i ran out of rice and too lazy to go to the shop (which is like 5 minutes walk) i just too lazy these days, mayb bcoz its summer hot…Met a few friends last sunday for BBQ, it was fun to see old friends again. But, they said ive changed….wat….i look thinner than before….really…so..is this a good or bad news for me then…hmmm…mayb those hectic months of doing thesis has taken a toll on me life and not to forget the depression i had. Yeah, the depression of not wanting to fail in my master program. But eventually i made it, yeah got me Master wit flying colors and being offered to do PHD. But im not ready, me mind is somewhere else atm, far from the reality. Someday, i said to meself, someday…it can wait. me weight drop from 61 kg to 56 kg, which i think is not pretty bad for a 5′ 5′ guy like me (still underweight according to the BMI though), look at the bright side guys, common, think positively, i can eat watever i want for the first few weeks when i arrive back home, hmm…how i miss the food there. But, i dont wanna look like a living sekeleton then..hahahaha…so have to eat two times daily like i did before and not to skip dinner. Arghhhh….dinner. dont have time to cook; work, work and work. Stop! where am i going with this entry…ok..enough with the intro…the title said it all, HAPPY… yeah, im abit happy atm, hmm..not a bit, mayb a bit more than that :D. Ive received good news a few days ago..first, i got "durian runtuh" (wats that?? the term msians use when they get unexpected good fortune like ppl suddenly give u money hehehe..), yeah..been waiting forever for me scholarship provider to update the backdated allowance i supposed to receive this month…pheww..the waiting is worthy…at last, they will give 10 months allowance which i will use as my fund for me expenses before i receive me first salary. Do i have to have a fund before starting work, Yes…as a goverment servant, they will pay u after 3 mnths of working or 2 mths if u r lucky. Why suddenly i feel that this entry sound like "kaunter pertanyaan" hahahaha… i dunno :P…Yeah…imagine all the suffering i will have if there is no fund available, i will be dead there "eating keropok lekor" and "ikan budu" hehehe….Secondly, me friends are taking a day or two days off from work to pick me at the airport and spend time together the next day. True friendship is everlasting….thats wat i believe and they proof it to me..iam so happy to know that they are willing to take days off for me, yeah for me…heheh saper la aku nie…Thanks yatie, saerah, jazira, nizam and the rest, I really appreciate your kindness and support. Hip2 Hooray…Cheers to friendship. Just cant wait to see everyone there…..Thirdly, after two years missing me family finally i will be back for two days.. yeah, i know two days are not enough. I remembered when i called me mum the other day she sound very sad that i just gonna be back home for two days. Eventhough she didnt mentioned it, but i know, i just know…I wish i can stay longer mum, sorry, but me work is calling me. Me parent supposed to be here for me graduation, but then series of unfortunate events happened, they didnt make it, wat to do, dah nasib… there is alot of things to chat about, experiences to share and  future to discuss. Still, goin back for two days means i will be late for work bcoz uni. semester is already started by then. Hah…..student…no la…lecterur la…huhuhuhuhu…imagine that…Never thought i gonna be a lecterur someday…but the long awaited someday will be one day soon, the day when i will be able to realise my dreams. Yeah, i do have dreams like everyone else, the main different between me and the rest is i dont talk about me dreams, my aims, mayb i just too scared of the possibilities of failures. Yeah im just not that confident type of person, dont blame me k, i try to be me, myself and I hehe… So normally i JUST DO IT, not say it…(promote NIKE la pulak nie hehehe..). But its true, i dont wanna be talking and talking around the bushes but no point or no action, even worse when ppl dont do as wat they said (kes cakap tak serupa bikin la nie. hehehe… or kelly Ng). No offense to those who does ok. Bare in mind, we are living in this world according to our own perspective and philosophy which is unique from one another, which give our life more varieties,  a bit of twist, interesting and at the same time never boring. Just that, plz dont say it but do it. Action speaks louder than words remm! Ooppsss…where am i going…out of title erk..hehehehe.. sorry…My stomach is making a sound like a washing machine, so i guess its a sign i should eat…me gonna cook…Hmm…let me think about it, Nah too time consuming hehehehe…im too lazy ( read the first paragraph). Hey, wait a moment, i just had me brunch….hmmm..have to get a proper meal i guess. Well, thats some of news that cheer me up at least for the time being, enough of loneliness, go out there, make a different eceh…mcm philosopher plak…Till then, lets have fun!

Hmmm…..just wake up from bed….still blur..hehehhee…so previous blog sound so serious i reckon..this time just wanna write something simple and easy (less brain work ;P). Nothing much to do here in brissie (brisbane), the same old brissie i guess. Surfing the internet is how i spend most of me time here, i guess i never spent this much time online since hmmmmm…me first time internet experince..hhehehe…Wish im in malaysia to enjoy the holiday with family and friends, but here iam stranded for less merrier xmas holiday here. Damn the flight is always fully booked at end of the yr! Hmmm…have to think wat to do for the holiday, or i will die of boringness ( dunno there is such word hehehe..), yes brissie is boring, there is no place to hang out at nght, no late nght movies, shopping malls close at 5pm, and the list goes on. But when i think abt me future place of work, here is not so bad after all hahahahaha….ever heard of dungun??? Have to think positive abt the future, me friends said to me, duh…if u work in an environment where theres nothing much to offer than u know…hehehehe… yeah i have to admit somehow or rather they are rght we have to think positive abt everything. Dont jump into conclusion bcoz it can be detrimental, enjoy life as it should be, not as it would be. Be realistic! Back to the holiday story, where was i….yeah, before leaving for good just wanna spend the last holiday with meaningful and memorable  activities with friends. Doing things that we love to do together…hehehehe….well not many actually with limited budget that is (saving for rainy days is the aim here ). I just realize that i never see a life kangaroo while i was here for the past two yrs, heheheeh….poor me…i thought i can c them on the wild, but only certain places do kept kangaroos in captivity. so wanna c kangaroo first, hahaha..theres no point staying in Aust for two yrs witout seeing a kangaroo up close and personal muahahaha eceh…wat else…yeah..theres invitation for karaoke sessions hahahaha…im not good at singing, most of the time out of tune and background vocal ajela…..hehehe…Since theres no competition, no judge, no simon hehehehe…just laughters will fill the atmosphere. Hopefully they will not have nightmares after hearing me singing, finger cross. BBQ time is over, done that a couple of times after xam with the final one being me friend Farez surprised birthday party, hehehe.. he was totally surprised ! Now, theres only invitation for farewell dinners and lunches, the main topic… of course wat a wonderful 2 yrs it has been for us as classmates, coursemates, playmates erkkk… oops no la ….hehehe…Hmmmm… Also, i wanna pay a tribute to all the beaches here, mainly noosa, sunshine and gold coast….(have to hire a car for that, there goes me money again) hehehe… or at least go to one of the beaches. 26th Dec, the date that all shopping addicts have been waiting for ages, discounted clothes, perfumes, gadgets, u name it….well, me meself has been sober for a year but on this special day why not hehehehe…have to look for clothes for work, souveniers etc….Although the shopping malls here are not as big and hot as those in Melbourne or Sydney, some still need at least the whole day to shop around…hehehehe…compare and contrast is the name of the game…some ppl even survey the price one week before at various shopping malls, thats how addictive shopping is….hehehe. New Year Eve…..hmmm….still havent decide wat to do….theres already a plan made by a friend, but not so sure…..just let time decide how it goes….Gosh, its already 1 pm, i havent shower….cont. later ok, till then..

Tomorrow has come sooner than i think, time just fly by and end in a split second. The end means a beginning of a new chapter, a new journey in life that seems so vivid atm. No promises that life will treat u kind because there will always be ppl who seems so noble but they are not. With time, it is possible to know the ppl surrounding us, who they really are deep down inside. Angel when they are sober, disastrous when they are provoked. Pretenders in a way, living a hipocrite life where their set of rules only apply to others but not to themselves. Trying to be an expert in everything, especially about life do not give them the right to judge other ppl as they like. To define ppl as wat their narrow mind think of is totally wrong and unfair. Even worse, they can change easily, pretend to be nice in front of their fallen victims but are looking for every opportunities to stab their victims on the back. That really hurt! Just wanna quote me friend’s sister Farez recent blog "I wonder how they feel putting up a happy face seeing us and at the same time ruining our lives, simply complicated….but than, that teaches us the value of lifel… nobody’s perfect and we all are different…forgive them. Never! because they will never learn".  That just say it all, backstabbers do exist in our lives. Well…life wouldnt be so challenging and interesting without ppl like them, they put an extra flavors and colors to our lives. We cannot run away from them, But at least we know how to handle them rght (to those who already be the victims la hehehee…) Sometimes i feel very luckly to know there are still friends that will stick together through good and bad times, friends that will bring the best in each other, friends that will always remember and cherish the moments we have shared in this short life of ours, forever…