ThE OnE AND OnLY

im still stuck here in brunei…..what am im doing here when ppl desperately need me there back in me hometown..i feel sad, guilty and anger, sorry doesnt mean a thing right now. but what else can i do…flights ticket to kch are sold out. there is no way for me to go back in this nick of time….She loves me the most, she give me everything that i want, i know that she missed me when im not around for the past years….time flies….now shes gone…and im not there….i want to see her for the last time…hiding in my hotel room, afraid of ppl might see me sadness …hiding my emotion pretending as everything is fine are not working well for me…i feel useless…Wait for me, ill be there this fri the 15th, although i know this time she will not be waiting to give me her kisses and hug. All is left are the memories that we spent together….I LOVE U grandma..hope u rest in peace…may god bless ur soul….

Bulan Mei dah sampai ke penghujungnya…..aku rasa a bit relief, hmmm…relief from my hectic life….start daripada awal bln nie keje memang byk, marking final exam papers, driving test, settle my home loan, gi KL ada pro dgn cc, n etc. But at the end everything went well, cuma satu jer aku belum buat, which i will settle in the phase 2 of this yr. Yes, this yr i divided my life into two phases, phase 1 and 2. duration jan - mei phase 1, june - dec. phase 2. Apa yg aku plan utk phase 1 semua nya ok. harap2 phase 2 pun camtu gak. Thn nie aku byk jumpa doctor maybe its not a good yr for my health, but i hope things will get better, soon. Byk benda yg aku accomplish dlm bln nie, dpt Lesen kereta, beli one unit apartment, my home entertainment set (40" LCD TV n home theatre), my circle of friends, the good achievements of me students (3 org dapat A+4.00), and dpt bt reunion jmpa member2 lama. How i miss them, how i wish they all are here wit me so we can spend time togehter and do stuff together. Despite all these, i still feel something is missing….That something i have to find out for myself….wit time i will…In the mean time, it is fair to give meself a break, rewarding myself a trip…..brunei here i come, my flight is on the 4th june…..aku tak tahu sama ada ianya satu kebetulan atau tidak, my BF (best friend) will be there too…..hope we party hard there (hmmm…..brunei + party = boleh ngam ker hehehehe…), time is so envious of us having fun, so enjoy life while u still can. Disebabkan prinsip hidup aku ini, aku g air terjun Sedim, g padang besar, g langkawi, brunei etc…..aku malas nak fikir, mcm aku cerita kat blog aku yg lepas, I just do it……Next mnth is june, start aku punyer phase 2….harap2 everything will run smoothly….i want things to happen according to my expectation not others which is within my reach…aku tidak mahu kecewa mengejar pelangi…aku hanya mahu melakukan yg terbaik….(hmm…aku rasa aku dah kluar topik nie..hehehhee….) ok la aku stop kat sini, b4 aku tersasar lbh jauh…Thanks to my friends (if u read this blog) yg spend time karaoke, lepak and stuff kat KL last weekend. Bila nak serang penang hehehe…..Thanks to government for the pay raise (merasa jugala govt servant mcm aku nie nak upgrade kereta sport BMW dua pintu tu nantikan hehehhee……) ok la ciow…aircond pun dah takder nie ( ni lah opis govt, puk 5pm dah tutup aircond, camner nak maju :P)………panas, panas…..

iam physically, emotionally and mentally tired. In need of breaks……

Yes i almost hit a car…..Hmm…where shall i start. this afternoon i went to a rest. to tapau some food (matila mix malay). Then as im about to drive out from me parking space which was on the roadside, a car made a signaled to the right indicating that he was abt to take my parking space. BUT that pakcik IDIOT hmm…..decided to change his mind last minute and drove straight away. I was abt to hit the gas to enter the main road…luckily the brake system was excellent. F**K, percuma jer kene sumpah. i managed to stop on time, just a fraction distance from his car. Dlm hati memang bengang…..rasa nak kluar kereta and ambik kereta pakcik tu n humban tepi jln (kene jadi incredible HULK la plak nak buat scene nie hehehe…..). Nie la pemandu malaysia bukan nyer nak minta maaf, buat muka selenge/blur adala……..kalau tak sebab dia lbh tua dah lama aku buat isyarat jari tgh kat dia (sabar tahap gaban la nie). Tapi……hmm….although it wasnt totaly my fault, kalau bawa kes polis, aku kira salah jugak la…nak tau naper…Hmmm…nie rahsia, frankly speaking my JPJ test is due next week which mean that i yet to have a driving license…(kes driving haram la nie, tapi tak rempit ah) hehehehe…Tapi, kalau bab2 drive ok dah cuma lesen takder….nak buat camner….geram tgk baby duk tiap2 hari duk usha ajak kluar hehehehe..baby tu kereta aku la ngok..:P. on the other story, next week is already bln may, pastu bln  june. Sedar tak sedar dah nak masuk middle of 2007, but my life havent settle yet. Still in the process or under construction bak kataorg puteh. Harap my plan for this yr semua nyer mejadi, and also my 2007 wishes. So far, thank god (alhamdullilah kata org islam) semua nyer ok, yg tak ok pun aku ok kan. Tu semua cabaran dlm hidup, kita hanya mampu merancang tuhan yg menentukan. But dont let hope runs thin without effort, maksud nyer jgn serahkan semuanyer kepada takdir, usaha dulu then see the results (baik buruk terima seadanyer). Dont blame ur fate bcoz there are some things in life we cant change. Sometimes we dont have the opportunity to choose, because the path is chosen for us. Example, if u are born different frm others such as those disable ppl, wat do u do, blame ur fate, or do ur best to enjoy life and prove to others that being different is wat made u special. Hee…apa yg aku membebel nie, actually nie la kata2 yg aku selalu ckp dgn student aku dlm kelas. kata2 peransang based frm my experience. Byk yg aku nak update kali nie, but time tak cukup, nak balik tgk AIM.  Neway, for the short note, bln june nie bz sikit. y, kene travel atas urusan uitm, jauh jugak ah…kene pakai international pasport. later ill habak pi mana. takut tak confirm lagi. Balik dari travel tu plan nak balik rmh jmpa parent n ambik some personal stuff, then bln July dah stat a new sem. Ok ah…later aku sambung. Happy exam to all me friends out there and to all me students. (happy ker huhuhu..Good Luck)

Finally this week semua keje dah hampir settle…phew, wat a semester it was. Last saturday ada dinner wit final semester students. It was great especially the dance floor hehehe….Teringat plak masa jadi student kat shah alam dulu. Time MPG (malam pra graduan) ni la time semua show their true colors…bukan apa. Lepas tu maybe dah tak jmpa, so time tu la nak all out and have fun with classmates (n lecterurs). Dulu duduk kat meja student but this time duduk dgn lecterurs yg lain. Some of them were my lecterurs dulu time kat shah alam. Rasa mcm lain bila dah duduk semeja, hmmm….camner nak describe..ntahla…Ada sorang lecterur nie dulu my lecterur, dulu tgk mcm serious takder nak melawak n stuff….tetiba hari nie dah boleh keluar makan sama2, buat lawak n dilawakkan, siap ajak karaoke n jaming (hobby baru hehe..), panggil nama pun takder encik2 lagi. Pendek cerita blh ngam la…Hari nie kwn dtg pulak dari dungun, my coursemate merangkap my housemate masa kat brissie…tak expect dia dtg….so kene entertain…hmm…nak bawa jln takder lesen huhuhu…This week rasa something different, maybe its just a feeling…or maybe work burden dah kurang…or something unexpected abt to happen….hehehhe…Neways, lama dah tak tak karaoke…release tension…so nak ambik cuti hari khamis and jumaat. Apa lagi jolly sakan kat KL…kat mana…Red BOx la…Actually g KL ni nak jmpa my old coursemate masa bt degree n they also dapat scholarship sambung belajar n kene "ikat" jadi lectrerur hehehe…mcm kes aku la. Sanggup dtg dari dungun nak jmpa heheheh…kwn lama…rindu…selain nak tunjuk kereta baru VIOS dia, me friend nak ajak jointventure business yg baru dia bt. Memang lama dah nak buka business, cuma tak terpikir lagi. Nie dah ada org initiate blh la tgk camner. So kira business meeting….Bln 5 kene g dungun ada meeting, hmmm…mcm malas nak travel. bln 6 dah nak balik rmh kejap nak jmpa family rindu….Hmm…apa yg aku rindu lagi…oh ye…rindu dgn……have to stop now my transport is here…till then…

p/s: sorry tak abis..

As usual, here i am in the office (bcoz ada line internet). Weekend in the office…hmmm..why….end of the semester my workload has sky rocketed, marking paper and stuff…pheww….cant wait to take a long break. Sambil2 buat keje ada masa gak layan lagu SOFAZ "janjiku"…..Best lagu ni, hmm…mcm lagu indo pun ada. Memang tak dpt dinafikan byk lagu best kat radio sekarang. The malaysian music industry seems to be alive with such trendy song, i mean such song is in now. The new breed new singers and groups have succeccfully launch their own identity, but till when. Yes….just like most popular singers and groups they just diminish after one hit or several hit songs/albums. Hopefully malaysian band such as SOFAZ could sustain their position in the malaysian music indusrty, if not overseas. Hehehe…i dont know why i writing such entry tonite, maybe i feel like i wanna. Since i arrived here in malaysia, i have been listening to all the malaysian musics, not bad all. However, Radja and samsons are still top on my ipod list at the moment, they are superb! i have 10 more minutes b4 someone pick me up…U r asking abt me baby, i mean me car…hehehe…i have yet to get my P licence….have to be satisfied with L for the time being. Talking abt driving lesson, the driver here SUCKs! they really are, most of them yes. The poll said Penang driver is the worst driver in malaysia. They dont follow the rules, in fact they have their own rules. For the record, me car already has a minor scratch due to a stupid motorcyclist. F**K, he crossed infront of my car even tough he knew that i was turning to the right. Luckily it was a tiny miny scratch (poor baby, kene sapu ubat, kesian….)…hah…sapa drive….hmm… rahsia..heehe…But it wasnt our fault, betul…….tak tipu..;P Ok have to cut this entry short, it is 11pm now, gtg, Ciaow…..

p/s: out of title….hehehe…

Hari nie terasa rajin lak nak stay office sampai pukul 11pm, surfing internet, balas email, buat keje sikit n sambil2 update blog yg dah bersawang nie hehe..Hmm…takder specific topic utk kali nie. Ada berita sedih, remmember the garuda plane crash last month, my friend’s father was on board that ill fated plane. he was me neighbour back in australia when we studied in the same uni. i was speechless when i received the news from me friend who was his housemate. All my condolences n sympathy goes to wira and his family. May God bless his father’s soul. On another note, last wekend i was in KL for 2 days. Nothing much, just wanna relax me mind and meet some old college friends. It was just like a relaxing therapy for me whenever i come to KL, this is the place where i will have fun and good times with friends. We will hang out and chat until the wee hour, sharing stories and jokes hahahaha….sorry still remm some of the jokes me friends told me. Jokes apa….hmmm…secret…SX18..tak leh cerita kat sini. The fun didnt stop there, it is a routine for us to show our talent at REd Box (karaoke kat sogo, tip top audio system). Kalau tak gi memang tak sah! duit kopak juga ah, nasib baik dah gaji hehehe….Well i really miss my friends back in KL, whenever im here it seems that need ppl to share and do stuff together. Mayb with time i will find those lucky ppl ..in mean time have to go to KL every now and then lah…tak ah…duit takde…hehehe..Today i just got me license L, tak sabar nak buat lesen P plak, my head gone hire wire these few weeks dgn nak blanja kereta, nak pindah rmh, nak buat test paper, jadi koordinator latihan practical bebudak etc……pheww…stress to the maximum…tu la weekend tadi i decided to go to KL, me place of escapade. Me new born baby pun just arrived last week, bz gak la nak jaga. PHE nama nye, comel aah berat 150 pound kot hehehe…me car ah…..but still something is missing…hehehe i dont have license yet…hehehe, so bawa pusing2 kwsn perumahan la ;P. Long term planning nak turun KL bawa kereta, kene blaja camner nie (otak aku pun dah tak berapa bagus nak ingat jalan2 kat malaysia nie hehehe..rasenye kene tuka processor la nie hehehe). Apa lagi ah, hmm..ASTRO nak pasang hjg bulan pasal nak tgk AF hehehe…best gak layan benda2 camni. Bosan2 kat rmh ada juga entertainment. Ok la, smpai sini entry kali nie….aku pun dah bingung, nak rest bcoz esok keje…..I think me next entry have to be something serious hehehe…lama tak buat entry yg serious…tgk mood kot…Ciaow

p/s: u can’t prevent what u can’t predict

Kali ni nak tulis BM lak, mampus la korang yg tak paham tu..hehehehe..tukar selera lak. Hari ni hari sabtu, supposed tak keje, but then fakulti ada buat open day. Aku pun involve lak, my duty jmpa pelanggan (parents n students)n also jaga booth. Hmm….hehehe..belum cerita dah sengih nie…hehehe..Bukan apa, tadi masa jmpa parents bebudak nie, they asked me muka mcm student (kes tak percaya aku lecterur la nie)…LA…..camner sapa nak jawab????? Jmpa guards, they tak caya, jmpa parents they pun tak caya…..hehehehe…Ntahla labu sampai bila la muka aku nak ranum..ooopsss…matured….hehehe…Best gak la hari nie, semua ada yg tua muda, mcm spesies kluar hehehe…mcm2 ragam. Bdwy, aku pun ada ambik videocam aku yg dah lama tak berkhidmat nie (teringat zaman2 kat brissie ;P). Nanti nak edit n share wit everyone, but have to figure out how…hheehehe..Other than that, check ah newspapers esok bcoz our Fakulti masuk news hehehe…naper..bcoz we masuk msia book of records sebab buat KETAYAP (bkn kayap k) terpanjang kat msia. Tumpang bangga la juga… Neway, i got to go, actually im on break, masih tak abis lagi jmpa parents n student kat meetin room. Hehehehe…mesti korang dah angin dgn aku yek……..asyik puji diri muda la konon….hehehhee…jgn marah cepat tua kang…..Ciaow Cin Ciaow…..

Hmm…..its 830pm and im still in the office doing some work, wanna take some time off to update me blog. The title say it all, its interesting to see that physical appearance does not neccessarily reflect your age, your real age. im writing this entry based on me experiences, funny experiences i reckon (sambil tersengih…hehehehe..). For instance last month i went to the office in weekend to do some work, yeah…..im so hardworking these days hehehehe….i had to mark test paper. unfortunately, during weekend the office is locked due to security reasons, dont ask me, i dont know wat had happened in the past. So there i was waiting for the security guard to open the entrance to me office. 10 minutes later he came, and look puzzled. He said "mana lecterur yg nak masuk office ti??", I said "its me" and he said "are you a lecterur???" with question mark in his face. By the way he asked me the same question three times ok. At this moment, i was like. WAt The HELL……i just started to get annoyed  but luckily he said im look like a student. "Muda Sgt" (too young) he said. Hmmm….am i that young hahahahaha…..Well maybe i was wearing me skimpy jeans and me polo shirt, or maybe i do look younger than me age hehehehehe….Thats was not the only incident where ppl said that to me, recently i cut me hair short, really short (sort off like the hero in the prison break hair do (sambil raba kepala hehehhee…) just wanna make me life easier, dont have to think about how to style me hair every mornin. Hmm…me new hairdo make me look like more like a student than a lecterur…..security guards always wonder whos the hell this boy, "berani tak pakai kad matrik, nak tunjuk samseng"…..its was funny when i said iam a lecterur hehehehe…terkejut badak…tu pun masih tak percaya….Ayoooo, takder muka lecterur ker hahahahaha….Then i asked me colleague about me new hairdo, she said i look boyish……BOYISH, really. I should look like more hmmm….. how should i say it PROFESSIONAL maybe hehehehee….yelah….with this prison break type of hairdo, more sleek wat hehehehehe…Finally, today a publiher came to me office to promote his magazines, "new lecterur??" he asked me "yea…" i said. Then he asked me age, i said 20 something hehehehehe…sajer nak kasi surprise. Suddenly he said i look younger than me age, and asked me why……HAHAhaha…"im sorry i really dont have the answer why"………..Why some ppl look younger than their actual age is mainly bcoz of the genes i think, sometimes its good to look young but in me situation it does cause some complications. Sometimes the students also dare to main2 mata, wow thats must be really really something huh…..hehehehehe…..Thats is apart of the challenge of lecteruring students who are taller, bigger and must i say it, look older than you hehehehehe….On other things, me car will arrive in two weeks time, and im still thinking abt the plate number (significant numbers i reckon), me TV is due next week, ASTRO end of this month, me driving lesson is still in progress (computer test: 45/50 hmm…not bad huh)…wat else….moving out somewhere at the end of this month. Travelling?????? ah…..later…next entries k…..Yes, its still there how????……..Ciaow…..

P/S: im lazy to write in perfect english…..HELP ME Plz :P……..On the other note i received a SMS from brissie…..I miss u too….

It have been a long long time since i updated my blog, why…..Hmm…let me see, first there is a lot of work, gosh only god knows what….the students are kinda lost at the moment dont know why….they are too manja……they need help, attention, still in the middle of the crossroads, looking for clue and direction. As for me, im there to help them choose the right path, the way to success in life and work. Phew…thats alot of work…hehehehe…Secondly, i have a new love in my life…hehehehe…besides my baby that i always think of, i have another scandal to take care of, which also need alot of attention…..want to know who…hehehehe, well…..its a what actually, its my HONDA…….hahahhahaa…yes its a car, my first asset, hmm….a big asset that is. I have been saving some money when i was a student, and plus the backdated allowance, now I have sufficient money to pay for the downpayment….how much….hehehehe…secret….just for the record, Its enough to have an affordable monthly payment of less than RM800. The funny part is that i dont have a driving license yet…..crazy or what….you guys must be wondering, how in the world i managed to get that car….well, i managed to get help from me dad to act as a second driver. Its not that im in hurry to buy a car, but i just want to practice driving at home>>> to the extend that i have bought a car (rationale ker??) No worries, currently im taking a driving course, hopefully by april i will graduate will flying colors, pray for me k :P…At least the car will keep me occupied for these few months i guess. Also, im planning to rent a house for me own. currently im staying with two lecterurs, they are great but i want a unit so that family and friends can crash over. Me own cribb! My credit card will be approved next week, cant wait to get my hand of the credit card….hehehehhe…..when it come money, im not good in keeping them…hehehe….But now i have to think for me future, so have to go easy on the money. Financially i want to be stable and i want to be able to sustain my family and my not so high maintenance life…hahahahah..boleh caya ker…..Talking about the credit card, i already have plan for it…(dah ada plan nie……)hehehe..Hmm..theres a promotion of o% installment scheme using credit card for Plasma n home theatre set….. yesza…..u are right, nak buat mini TGV kat rmh nie…hahahahaha…At least weekend boleh lepak n enjoying movies wit friends. So finger cross, that will happen in a couple of weeks. Lastly, im busy socializing with events ranging from student dinner, staff motivation camp, french week, open day etc….these will continue until the end of the semester. Even with all the works, events and new things i have in me life now, one thing remain the same. Alone at night and even lecteruring in classroom, there will always be this feelin that follow. The feeling of something is not yet finish, incomplete business. Maybe with time, i will  be able to know the truth, someday……Hope this entry, mengubat kerinduan u guys….hahahaha…rindu ker….me friends in brissie, i miss u guys…take care, till then….